I like my jeans destroyed

hogwartskidsproblems: strawberrysoftlicorice: jay-ell-gee: gua...

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 15:32:25 -0400

strawberrysoftlicorice:

jay-ell-gee:

guardianof-memories:

the real question is how did they not realize that she was Emma Watson

I think we all know who’s behind this

Air Snape makes a sassy comeback

#Snape on a plane

So Robert Downey Jr. is filming near me and stopped to sign stuff and..

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 15:30:28 -0400

Me: (Holds out dollar bill and pen)
Robert Downey Jr: Are you asking me to deface government property?
Me:
Me:
Me: Yes.
RDJ: Gimmee.

funfreacksnc: where do you buy rory williams i want a rory...

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 15:28:32 -0400

funfreacksnc:

where do you buy rory williams

i want a rory williams

Weird that they’re broadcasting this movie today…

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 15:19:08 -0400

Weird that they’re broadcasting this movie today…

iammakingperfectsense: hazzasgotalittlelou: directioner-danosaur: insidemymmind: Okay, so in...

Sun, 26 May 2013 12:08:08 -0400

iammakingperfectsense:

hazzasgotalittlelou:

directioner-danosaur:

insidemymmind:

Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.

David must have done this on purpose….

josienepien: when people use the pun ‘german sausages are the wurst’ my heart dies a little,...

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:49:12 -0400

josienepien:

when people use the pun ‘german sausages are the wurst’

my heart dies a little, because wHY JOKE ABOUT WURST IF THE DUTCH WORD FOR SAUSAGE IS ACTUALLY WORST

wouldn’t that make a better joke? come on guys..

‘dutch sausages are the worst’

there.. i said it. ha.

Photo

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:45:24 -0400

teashoesandhair: utterlydeceptivetwaddlespeak: tommarvolohiddles: mandatoryupgrades: Anyone who...

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:18:32 -0400

teashoesandhair:

utterlydeceptivetwaddlespeak:

tommarvolohiddles:

mandatoryupgrades:

Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:

I want that to be the final line of my biography.

let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth

and, of course, from henry v

ah, the leeks.

Guys are we forgetting Titus Andronicus or

onna4: David Tennant with his wife David Tennant without his wife She’s back!

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:16:13 -0400

onna4:

David Tennant with his wife

David Tennant without his wife

She’s back!

cat doesn’t want to get out of nice warm bath [x]

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:15:43 -0400

cat doesn’t want to get out of nice warm bath [x]

tardis-blue-boxes: larry-in-the-tardis: abhortion: I think I missed out on the “neat and cute...

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:14:09 -0400

tardis-blue-boxes:

larry-in-the-tardis:

abhortion:

I think I missed out on the “neat and cute handwriting” gene that every girl seems to have and this is unfair

Intelligent people have messier handwriting because they think fast. When you think and process things faster, you can also write quicker, but it’s going to be sloppy. People with neat writing are usually (no offense) not as smart. I embrace my shit writing.

^Bless this

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane: tephnos: sirisles: dixiesaurer:...

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:10:21 -0400

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

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Sun, 26 May 2013 11:05:50 -0400

jehovahzwetness: Gay marriage should be legal because gay divorce court shows would be fucking...

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:02:05 -0400

jehovahzwetness:

Gay marriage should be legal because gay divorce court shows would be fucking hilarious

dancenotesandpieces: THE CAT RETURNED THE KISS.. MY HEART IS...

Sun, 26 May 2013 11:01:49 -0400

dancenotesandpieces:

THE CAT RETURNED THE KISS.. MY HEART IS FUCKING MELTING !!!

peep-toe-shoes: The Great Gatsby Character Map

Sun, 26 May 2013 09:14:44 -0400

peep-toe-shoes:

The Great Gatsby Character Map

Photo

Sun, 26 May 2013 09:12:05 -0400

beccaraptor: #Matt Smith is a majestic unicorn that never grew...

Sun, 26 May 2013 09:11:50 -0400

beccaraptor:

#Matt Smith is a majestic unicorn that never grew out of that awkward phase so he just flails mindlessly around and knocks into trees and people holding full coffee cups and he breaks screwdrivers just by looking at them I am js

notahoe: there are like 3 or 4 songs in my itunes library that make me go from depressed young...

Sun, 26 May 2013 09:09:29 -0400

notahoe:

there are like 3 or 4 songs in my itunes library that make me go from depressed young adult to full on stripper in 0.02 seconds

Photo

Sun, 26 May 2013 08:57:04 -0400